One Thought

Getting older is mostly good. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown more self-aware. I’m now more aware of my strengths, my weaknesses, and the ways others perceive me. I understand the effects that my actions have on others. I’m better at detecting the feelings and insecurities of others. I see how I’m similar to others and how I’m different, and the differences make my strengths and weaknesses more clear.

As a result of being more self-aware, I have more control over my emotions. I’m able to label my emotions more accurately and to understand what is causing them. I’m better able to regulate my emotions, which means that I can prevent negative emotions from ruling my life.

I’m more conscious of the things that make me happy and unhappy. Partly through trial-and-error, I’ve found that some things–writing, going to the gym, playing music, spending time with people I like–tend to make me happy, and other things–being alone for long periods of time, backing away from challenges, getting no time to myself–tend to make me unhappy. This knowledge helps me to lead a happier and more-satisfying life.

Part of the satisfaction of getting older comes from the feeling that, in some way, I’m moving “closer” to perfect knowledge and a perfect existence. Of course, I’ll never attain these, but I like feeling like I’m making progress toward them. I don’t want to feel like I’m running in circles, realizing the falsehood of one assumption after another, ad infinitum. Though certainly many of my current beliefs are wrong, I’d like to think that I am, in general, closer to ‘the’ (or ‘a’) truth than I was when I was younger.

The problem with this sort of thinking, however, is that it can lead to a sort of comfortable equilibrium that shuts out contrary information. If I believe that I have become more “right” as I have gotten older, then I may also become more closed-minded and stubborn. I may shut myself off to new experiences and restrict myself to activities and ideas that are proven to make me happy, or at least that I know are comfortable.

I hope I never end up in that state. People whose minds have hardened to new experiences–who are unable or unwilling to change their viewpoints and opinions–are truly old. Since their view of the world is fixed, they can’t experience new things, and they can’t grow as individuals. The rest of their lives will be a repetition of what they’ve already experienced.

I do like stability, though. Stability comes from learning something about myself and about the world. Stability allows me to focus and to move more effectively toward my goals. And, of course, stability is comfortable. How do I reconcile my desire for stability with my desires for new experiences and personal growth? By the way I frame my opinions and viewpoints. However sure I am of them, I can never regard them as absolutely correct or fixed. There is always a chance that new information will invalidate or change my opinions and viewpoints. This doesn’t mean that I can’t hold them strongly and view them as likely to be correct, however.  I can–and this way I can have confidence in my views while still allowing them to change.

Similarly, I should make sure to force myself to seek out new experiences, particularly those that make me uncomfortable. While uncomfortable experiences tend to be the enemy of stability, they are often the only way to grow as a person. A new experience can destabilize viewpoints that have hardened in my mind, forcing me to reevaluate my assumptions. While too many new, uncomfortable experiences can be quite unpleasant, too few means slow, or no, personal growth. Stability can very easily lead to stagnation.