One Thought

It’s been about eight months since I left my job.  Eight months — that’s a long time not to be working.  It’s the longest I’ve been without working in a long time and, if you count school as work, the longest I’ve ever been on my own.

Though the time has passed quickly, a lot has changed.  Indeed, I’ve changed.  I’ve written quite a bit, and I’m getting closer to understanding my writing interests (and non-interests).  I’ve spent countless hours (well, about 25 a week, so 800+) practicing guitar and studying music, and I’ve learned a huge amount.  I’m beginning to see myself as a “real” musician.  Even a year ago, writing and recording music seemed daunting.  Now I’m finished with my second song.

So for the most part things are going well.  It’s clear, though, that I’m entering a new phase of unemployed life.  When I first started out, managing my own time was a thrill in itself.  Working on my own was very rewarding.  I felt little need for external validation.

That phase has passed.  Sitting in my bedroom and doing what I want is no longer enough: my desires for recognition, community, and collaboration have returned.  I want to meet more people with similar interests.  I want to expose more people to what I have done and am doing.  I want to talk shop and collaborate with similarly-inclined people.  In a word, I want to network.

I don’t like the idea of “networking.”  It carries connotations of phoniness: sucking up to get what you want, treating people as means to your ends.  I’m not into that.  I’d like to be honest, and I’d like to cultivate mutually beneficial relationships.  I’ve never liked (or even been able) to put up a false front to get what I want from people.

For me, networking means connecting with people.  I want to meet people with similar interests I want to meet people who are interested in the type of thing I’m doing.  I want to collaborate.  I want to be part of a community.

Networking has never come easy for me.  I’m bad at meeting new people outside school or work.  I’ve tended to use my friends as a crutch: my friends are nearly all friends of previous friends.  Luckily, unemployment seems like the perfect opportunity to improve things.  Not only do I have the time to do something now, I also have to do something — after all, I’m not going to meet anyone through school or work!  Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better.

So what am I going to do?  I’ve puzzled over this for a while — it’s hardest to fix the problems you’ve had for the longest, and I’ve always had trouble networking.  I tend to be happy with only a handful of friends.  As a result, it’s been hard to motivate myself to venture beyond my current circle.  I’m also relatively self-sufficient.  I don’t usually need to meet anyone new.

I’ve known I need to do more networking for a while now, but I still haven’t done much of it.  The task is unfamiliar and daunting.  I feel like I did about writing music a year ago: there’s so much I don’t understand, and I don’t know where to begin.  It seems that just knowing I need to do something isn’t motivating enough.  I need to take action, and it appears I’m going to have to force myself to make something happen.  Sigh — such is (my) life.

The best way I’ve found so far of getting myself to take action is through a schedule.  I’m organized my music, writing, and reading time with a schedule for the past eight months, and it has worked well.  I’m not 100% consistent, but I’m pretty close.  I’m good at doing things when I’ve agreed with myself beforehand that I’m going to do them.

At the same time, I’m bad at doing things (even if I’ve agreed to do them) when they’re too daunting.  I don’t want to bite off more than I can chew.  Setting my immediate goals unrealistically high is just setting myself up for failure.  Though taking things fast can be very effective, it can also be very difficult.  I’d rather go slow and succeed than go fast, stress myself out, and fail.

I’ve decided to modify my daily schedule.  Networking is now part of my working life: I’m going to spend an hour or so a day on it (I’m doing less reading).  For now, my requirements are lax: any activity whose focus is meeting people with similar interests counts as networking.  I’m good at researching, so that’s a lot of what I’ll be doing at first.

Here’s a sample of networking-related activities I can (and will) be doing:

• Find (and attend) interest group events.  Meetup.com seems to be a good resource for this.
• Create a MySpace page with my music (once I have enough of it).  Network with other local musicians.  Become more familiar with the local music scene.
• Participate in internet forums and community blogs related to my interests.  Many are a waste of time, but there are some good ones.
• Find (and attend) local classes related to my interests.

To demonstrate how seriously I take networking, I’m issuing myself an ultimatum: I will not return to a job before I’ve demonstrated significant progress in this area.  Though I may not return to a job at all–self-employed life has its perks–I certainly acknowledge the possibility I will.  And I know that it will be very easy to fall back to my old ways if I have the ready-made community a job provides.  I need to work things out first to ensure that doesn’t happen.

So if you see me lying destitute in the streets in a few years you’ll know what happened  Wish me luck!